The One Where Jerry Let His Guard Down

I started writing a post about a weight maintenance habit that I found helpful, but when this incident I’m about to share happened, I HAD to post this instead! I’ll save the other one for tomorrow.

Jerry has a work meeting tomorrow and it’s something important. He’s been very nervous about it and normally he doesn’t get nervous about these things. Many of the “higher-ups” from his company will be there and he will meet a lot of new people.

A few days ago he asked me if I would cut his hair before he left and I said yes. Last night, I guess she wanted to impress me (?) by cutting her hair. We all know how that happened not once, but TWICE, before. She used the clippers to cut her hair to a number 8 (which leaves the hair about an inch long). After showering, she saw some stray hairs and grabbed the clippers to trim them.

However, he forgot to put the razor guard back on and started shaving without any protection. It only took her a moment to realize what was happening, but by then it was too late.

January 2020

We laughed a lot! It would surely be a great lesson and he would never forget to put on his guard again. Good?

On Christmas Day 2020, Jerry decided to cut his hair again. We’ll jump to the point. HE DID IT AGAIN. This time, in an even more visible place on his head.

December 2020

I was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face and I insisted on making a video for him explaining how it happened. Again. (Video is below)

We were quarantined due to the pandemic, so we took entertainment wherever we could get it. And this was funny! It’s practically guaranteed that there is NO CHANCE of you making that mistake again. How can you not learn by doing that twice? First of all, I would definitely stop cutting my hair. And if *I* cut my hair, I would triple check that the guard was on before going near my scalp.

Last night I was in the bedroom while Jerry was in the bathroom and I heard the clippers running. I almost walked in to ask if she wanted me to cut her hair, but I thought he would have asked me if she wanted me to do it. I continued reading my book, and a while later, I heard something (the scissors) fall to the floor and several insults coming out of Jerry’s mouth.

I wondered what he had dropped or broken or whatever. Then the door burst open and he stood there in the doorway looking angry. With a bald stripe down the middle of the head.

I tried to keep a straight face, but it lasted all of two seconds before I burst out laughing. I could not avoid it! That made Jerry laugh too. I couldn’t believe this had happened THREE TIMES.

We laughed a lot while I took the photographs that were now frequent enough to call a tradition, and then Jerry had no choice but to shave the rest of his head. If there’s one thing we both agree on, it’s that he doesn’t really have the looks to rock a shaved head.

I feel terrible that this happened before your meeting tomorrow. I told him he should make a joke about it from the beginning so he doesn’t feel self-conscious. Your bosses will probably have a good laugh! He put on the glasses, hoping it would distract his head a little, but… well, he just has to wait for him to grow up.

For anyone thinking about getting a haircut with a clipper, Jerry has this advice: “Never let your guard down.”


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