YoWith tears in his eyes, with his head in his hands, he was exposing everything. His failed marriage, his troubled son, the depression, the anxiety… it was all too much to bear. She had been fighting the good fight, but she reached her limit.
Accept the reality of life’s inevitable suffering and be worthy of it.
“I’m completely breaking down, Bill. I can not stand it anymore.”
I looked her straight in the eyes and calmly said, “Yes, you can.” And from there we move forward.
Tired and dysfunctional relationships, family and friends in crisis, worrying news 24/7, God only knows what else. And on top of that, the symptoms.
Is it any wonder we meet believing (like in perception) are we on the brink of collapse?
The harsh conclusion is that the whirlwind is what we make of it. After all, we participated in its creation.
I know we’re all built differently, with cup sizes across the board. But rarely (as in <1%) have I worked with someone in the middle of hell who didn't believe they had the inner resources to emerge.
Sure, I have clinical experience. However, first and foremost, I am a veteran of mood and anxiety disorders. I’ve been on the edge of what believed collapse numerous times over a handful of decades.
I know the horror and hopelessness of anxiety, panic, agoraphobia, derealization, depersonalization, intrusive thoughts, depression, elevated mood, and substance dependence.
as many times as me thought my goose was cooked – declaring “I can’t” – that never happened. In reality, I had invested too much in my misery to run away. I mean, how could she keep beating me to a pulp if I perished (or got better)?
But then it was time to survive for the best of reasons.
11 “Yes you can”
What I’m about to share doesn’t come from a textbook or a lecture. I wouldn’t do that to you. It comes from my heart, based on life experience.
When you find yourself on the threshold of what think It’s a total breakdown – “I can’t” – move on to the next thing…
- Protect yourself from the whirlwind, breathe a few belly breaths and open even a small space in your mind to perspective.
- Make a short list (mental or not) of what you are really going.
- Confront your history of inaccurate/distorted information. thoughtwhich has always led to problematic emotions and behaviors.
- Accept the reality of life’s inevitable suffering and be worthy of it. It may have different flavors, but we are all called to endure pain.
- Take your first steps to change your patterns of thought. Start with point 3 and move on to the fact that your emotional and mental reserves are deeper than you. believe.
- Think about times in the past when you were in the same place and managed to get out. And while you’re at it, think about the fact that you are, indeed, in the same place.
- Make a list of proof that you are a survivor.
- Approach it from a different angle. Try to prove to yourself that you cannot emerge.
- Think about the lessons you need to learn in your current situation. And be grateful that you have the opportunity to change and grow.
- Be challenging. Are you really going to let your circumstances win over you?
- While you’re taking care of business, make sure your inner voice, which normally attacks you, repeats, “Yes, I can.”
What do you think? I bet you can think of more.
“If you can”
Once again I know the hell of despair and believing Emotional, mental and physical collapse is at hand. I am 100% with you and I feel your pain and hopelessness.
But in the middle of apparently 10 million “I can’t take it anymore” I say blindly elected to continue recovering. And here I am, so many years later.
That is why I can confidently assure you: “Yes, you can.”
Interested in more inspirational articles and information on Chipur’s mood and anxiety? Scan the titles.